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Writer's pictureCicely Simon

Dating Doesn't Stop When You're Married!

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, maintaining a solid connection with your spouse is essential for your mental well-being and relationship. As a marriage and family therapist, I often see this where spouses haven't had a date in months or years. There is no judgment here, but let's talk about the benefits of continuing to date in marriage. Make it intentional!  


1. Rediscovering Romance: A common subject in couples counseling is that the relationship feels dead. Generally, the root cause is the routine of daily life. One cure for this is dating your spouse. It allows you to rediscover the romance that initially brought you together. It rekindles the spark and fosters a sense of excitement in your relationship.


2. Quality Time Amidst Busy Lives: Life can get hectic, but setting aside dedicated time for each other provides a welcome break from daily stressors. It's a chance to focus on the relationship without distractions. Your spouse should be your priority. When the relationship functions well, everything else tends to fall into place. And even if they don't, you have the support from your partner to help manage those stressors. But you can't do that if you aren't intentionally spending time with one another.


3. Communication Reinforcement: Date nights facilitate open and meaningful communication. They offer an opportunity to discuss feelings, aspirations, and concerns in a relaxed setting, strengthening your emotional connection. This is a time to learn more about your spouse. Often, I hear one partner say that the other partner doesn't know them anymore. If you spent time dating one another, you could learn and relearn your spouse by talking about important things. As you get older, you change. Your partner should know these things and vice versa.


4. Nurturing Emotional Intimacy: Intimacy goes beyond physical closeness; emotional intimacy is equally vital. Regular dates create a safe space for vulnerability and the expression of emotions, deepening your bond. There's nothing more romantic than feeling safe with your spouse.


5. Stress Reduction and Relaxation: Engaging in enjoyable activities helps reduce stress levels. Laughter, shared experiences, and relaxation contribute to a positive mental state for both partners. Not to mention, a good nightcap (I'm not talking about drinks) after a fun date is the ultimate stress reliever!


6. Maintaining Individual Identities: While unity is crucial, maintaining individual identities is equally essential. Dating your spouse allows you to celebrate each other's uniqueness and interests outside daily responsibilities. Make time to do something your spouse likes, even if you're not a big fan. It will be appreciated.


7. Creating Lasting Memories: Shared experiences form lasting memories. Regular dates provide opportunities to create positive memories, which can be a source of joy during challenging times. Hard times do come; you must identify the positive in your relationship to get through. These dates are so helpful!


8. Fostering Appreciation: Taking time to appreciate each other's company reinforces the value of your relationship. It reminds you of why you fell in love and continue to choose each other every day.


Dating your spouse is not just a luxury; it's an investment in your mental well-being and the health of your relationship. By prioritizing quality time, open communication, and shared experiences, couples can strengthen their connection and navigate life's challenges with resilience and unity. Remember, making these moments intentional, enjoyable, and a consistent part of your journey together is the key. Alright, go ahead and schedule date night! Schedule multiple ones on the calendar so you don't forget! 

 

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