Dating is a common topic amongst my single clients when they come to therapy. I hear the horror of dating stories, and let's just say I'm glad I'm not in this stage of life anymore. Dating has become increasingly complicated, especially with the nuisance of social media. People are simply having a difficult time connecting or if they do maintain the mental health during so. Here are a few tips that I provide clients about dating.
1. Prioritize Self-Care: Check yourself before you wreck yourself or your relationship. Ensure you take care of your mental health first. Healthy relationships start with individuals who are emotionally well. It saves time and heartache when you are in your best place. It also helps to identify red flags a lot sooner.
2. Communication is Key: Open and honest communication fosters understanding. Express your needs, boundaries, and feelings with your partner. So many times, people fail to vet their partners during the dating process. Baby, ask that man/woman all of the questions in the first couple of dates! Let them know your purpose of dating upfront so that there is no confusion down the road.
3. Set Realistic Expectations: Social media will keep you single if you listen to some of the advice offered on those platforms. Baby, the Cheesecake Factory is okay for a first date, too. Have some expectations and be realistic with them. Understand that no one is perfect. Embrace imperfections and communicate openly about expectations. Also, it's okay if you know this isn't your person. That can be communicated effectively, though!
4. Active Listening: Practice active listening to understand your partner's perspective truly. This helps build empathy and connection. It also helps with listening for red flags. It never fails; when I ask about red flags in a failed relationship, the answer I get about 85% of the time is, "Oh yeah, they did say that." "I should have asked further questions about."
5. Balance Independence and Togetherness: Maintain a healthy balance between spending time together and nurturing individual interests and friendships. It's okay to have some personal space and not be wrapped up under an individual all the time. You and your partner will appreciate the time spent away from one another just as much as you are together.
I know there are probably a thousand other therapeutic suggestions I could give, but these are a start. Remember, take your time and have some fun. And please be mindful if you're dating through apps! Cuffing season is upon us and will be gone soon! Enjoy!
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